So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
