I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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