i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
