There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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