So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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