Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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