I'm sorry my penis didn't work
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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