is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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