Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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