Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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