I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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