Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
