Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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