Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
