You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
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I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
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just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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