She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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