Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
