My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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