I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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