There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
