i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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