So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Randomize
