Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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