Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
They are going to name an STD after you.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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