IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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