just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
