why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
