Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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