there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
