oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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