his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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