I'm really into asian looking animals
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
