his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
