is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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