Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
