If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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