That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Hippo gnu deer
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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