sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
