i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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