dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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