I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
BRING THE BAGELS
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
