I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
