Buhtt sex?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
