the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
