I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
There's always time for handjobs
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My feet surprised me
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