Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
