she smelled like a LAN party
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
