We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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