the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
