Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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