I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he thought i was a dude.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
