On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
