So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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