i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize