he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
