I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
