This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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