were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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