just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
operation harelip BJ is a go
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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