I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
