I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
